In indigenous societies all over the world, humans dwelled (some still do) in simple homes such as yurts (Kyrgyzstan, Mongolia), wooden huts covered with moss (the Sami in Northern Scandinavia), earthen homes (Africa, Asia), or wigwams (North America), for example.
Community
Indigenous folks stayed there with their multi-generational families. Often, there was a communal structure for gatherings of the clan or community.
Life was structured around the seasons, the hunting and growing seasons, and the moon cycle. Community members came together for festivities such as initiation into adulthood, marriage, solstice, etc.
The passing of the soul, be it birth or death, was also part of the community. It was not something separate; everything was interwoven. The community was close-knit and needed to be, too, because of safety, for example.
The Industrial Revolution
Before the Industrial Revolution, people raised their children together and lived together. After the Industrial Revolution, this changed, and the state took over. The Rockefellers founded schools to ‘make workers out of children, not thinkers’. The state started posing restrictions on people’s liberties; indigenous peoples were being uprooted and made extinct, for the most part. The state took over the role of the community, and feminism did the rest.
In the 20th century, feminism made women believe that working was more important than raising children. This is a communist/socialist idea. The family unit and the community no longer supported the family: the state took over the upbringing of children. Life became increasingly institutionalised and fragmented.
Autonomy and Codes of Conduct
In traditional societies, women needed to support each other, helping with childbirth and raising children. Men needed each other to hunt for big game, create structures and protect the dwelling. Men and women complemented each other.
The community raised children; no institution or external authority dictated what children should be taught. Children were taught skills and knowledge of the natural world and how to engage with it. Cooking, crafts, storytelling, arts, spirituality, plant medicine, primitive warfare, and survival skills.
Within the boundaries of their society, people were autonomous. There were codes of conduct to ensure members knew how to behave. Misconduct was sometimes met with harsh punishment to keep everyone in check.
There usually was a hierarchy; the elders, for example, were consulted during conflict. There was often an older man who would take on the role of medicine man. Women had their spirituality. Children were important: they helped the adults and would have to carry on the traditions when elders passed on.
Fulfillment and Social Cohesion
Each member had a role and a place in society; together, the community was complete.
I see in modern societies that people don’t find their place and role in society and live in isolation. Isolation from:
Family
Clan/Community
The Creator
Nature
Their body and understanding of it
The spiritual and the creative
The wisdom of elders
The joy of children
Living with animals
Men and Women
Women and their children spent most of their time together. They were engaged in plant medicine and cooking, and they made artefacts for trading and use in and around the house. They made earthen pots, wove textiles, moccasins and capes, baskets, beaded belts and pouches.
They shared the secrets of womanhood, and passed on their knowledge to the younger generations.
The women often had to leave the dwelling to get water, gather, find materials for crafts and hunt for small game. It was safer to go in groups, so they went together. And what do women do when they’re together, in nature? They laugh, giggle, talk, and sing.
Men were busy hunting, building and protecting their families and community. Men were also engaged in the spiritual and creative. They made weapons, masks, shields, arrows, musical instruments, furniture, and felt rugs.
Men and women had their roles and strengths. Women shared things, and men did. It worked. They each had their say in different aspects of their lives. The qualities of men and women were not mixed up; each could grow into a stronger, wiser and better man or woman. There was no confusion over their identity.
Being rooted in who you are makes you strong, and strong people can support a healthy society.
What the Red Tent Means to Me
When I was travelling in Morocco, I heard the women sing in the Atlas Mountains. Their voices went straight to my heart. How it nurtured my soul, how I longed for a world in which women can still be women. I loved going to the hammam and bathing with the women and children; you won’t believe what a good time they were all having. They were happier and seemed healthier than most women I have seen in Western societies.
Being of Indian descent, I know what it’s like to be with women and feel part of a collective. Growing up in The Netherlands, though, it was hard to find sisterhood. The longing and knowing were in my blood, so I started searching for and, eventually, creating it.
Belly dancing came into my life, and I loved it so much! The emotional expression, the feminine movements, and being together as women: belly dance is a celebration of womanhood. We enjoy our bodies and have fun when dancing. We dance with each other and experience joy.
Creating a Red Tent to share the wonders of womanhood with other women is immensely fulfilling for me, and belly dancing can be a part of it.
Spirituality
For me, spirituality is also very much a part of womanhood. Women have access to the spiritual by nature. However, when women lead lives that do not align with their nature, they can’t get in touch with this spirituality and let it flow. This creates a lot of inside pressure and conflict.
By creating the Red Tent, we create a place and opportunity for women to connect with their spirituality and to know they have this space.
Menstrual Cycle and the Female Body
I was always so surprised that women hated their menstrual cycle and had so many complaints about their bodies.
Why do women want to look like men, with muscles, no hips and a too-low fat percentage?
Women are imitating porn stars by filling their breasts with plastic, injecting their lips with chemical substances, changing the character of their eyes and face with facelifts, putting on plastic nails and fake eyelashes, and shaving off all pubic hair.
Who has made them believe that they need this, that this is womanhood? How come women have come to resent their cycle and their bodies and are deviating from their natural beauty and nature?
Our womb is our beautiful home and the seat of joy, pleasure, procreation, creation, and emotions. When we are menstruating, we become more primal and intuitive at the same time. The key lies in understanding that our cycle is something we can embrace instead of oppose.
Once we surrender to the flow of our cycle and listen to our bodies, we can start to see the beauty of our female bodies and experience the strength and wisdom within us.
When we menstruate, we know what to eat and what we feel. It’s a time to go within, sleep, rest, and let it all happen. It’s a time for self-nurturing. Sexual feelings can also be heightened during this time. For me, the whole cycle of women is a fantastic journey that we make every month.
The cycle goes from the exciting, energetic time from the last day of the period up to ovulation, and then it’s the time to go within, right up to menstruation.
The menstrual cycle is ebb and flow; if you accept that, you will find beauty and appreciation in all stages of menstruation.
Of course, there’s PMS. There are so many ways, though, that can make it lighter. Diet, plant medicine, lifestyle, and listening to our body and feelings help alleviate this period. Certain activities can support us when we have PMS. Our body is asking us to nurture it well; if we pay attention and care for it, we can deal with it much better.
Difficulties in Menstruation
Our cycle is like day and night, winter and summer; we can’t hate one of the two. Together, they are whole. Just as we can learn to overcome our fear of the darkness and enjoy the solitude and stillness of winter, we can turn within and find the riches of each stage of the cycle.
Many women do not have the time to turn within, though; they have to work and raise their families. And living separately as a family unit, not embedded in the community, creates more pressure.
The key lies in going with the flow and letting go of control. Stress is extremely counter-productive for hormonal health. It needs to be avoided, especially during PMS and pregnancy.
Then there is a high level of toxicity in our lives: cosmetics, air and water pollution, processed foods, and so on. There are endocrine disruptors in processed foods, for example.
The tampons and pads we use are made from plastic and have chlorine. There are better alternatives, but most women use toxic products. This does not help our cycle.
I agree keeping a healthy hormonal balance is challenging these days. However, we must take responsibility as women if we want to enjoy strong and beautiful women’s health. I see it as an opportunity of growth: we can learn and grow together. The Red Tent assists us in this.
Childbirth and Rearing of Children
Childbirth is a natural phenomenon, and our bodies are capable of it. I had three ‘home births’ without any complications. I believe that women are entitled to the sacred experience of childbirth and have the right to bodily integrity. That makes me advocate for ‘homebirth’ or ‘free birth’, which are ‘normal/natural birth’ for me.
As for the rearing of children, where are all those joyful children? Children are the joy of society; they are part of life, just as animals and elders.
In the Red Tent, women can support each other and discuss having children. It is not something to be ashamed of! As sisters, we support, share, and learn from each other.
Love,
Usha
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